In most cases of separation, the families involved go through the five stages of grief (shock/denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and resolution), although not necessarily in this order. For example, it is possible for a grieving person to move from anger to depression and back to anger again. "Reactions to the Five Stages of Grief" is a chart that identifies behavioral expression in children and parents during each of these stages.
One of the most common errors made by social workers, foster parents, and parents is to misinterpret a child's compliant and unemotional behavior during the shock/denial stage and judge a placement to be a "success." When a child is thought to have handled the move without distress, later behavioral signs are often not recognized as part of the grieving process. They may be ignored or attributed to emotional or behavioral problems. At times the child may even be punished for them, intensifying the child's distress and depriving him of support and help (Caye, et al., 1996).
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